“You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do, or what you have done, but simply because you are”
― Max Lucado
Comparison. We all do it.
We do it to measure ourselves against unknowns, we do it to evaluate progress, to reduce uncertainty, and so on.
Leon Festinger was the first to study this in 1954. He discovered that human beings can’t actually define themselves intrinsically or independently. They can only define themselves in relation to someone else.
He also found that the more important we think some particular group of people is, the more pressure we’ll feel to conform to that group in our abilities and opinions.
So here's the thing: comparison is ingrained in us. But, the way we choose to use it is how we choose to either allow it to serve us or tear ourselves down.
Next time you find yourself in the comparison game ask yourself the following:
Am I comparing for Self-Evaluation or to boost/tear down my Self Esteem?
It is really important to know the differences and to be self-aware because Self-Evaluation can provide insight, growth, and perhaps drive you to do better. But if you find yourself having feelings of doubt, feelings of success based on another's misfortune, or negative feelings you might be using comparison to adjust your self-esteem which will, in the end, make you miserable.
You are valuable and wonderful just as you are. There are no winners or losers here, we are all simply doing our best and whatever your best is today is right where you should be. BE KIND TO YOU.